Evidence of Love and Support!


I wanted to share some of the beautiful cards and tags that I have received during all of this. It has been so uplifting to go to the mailbox and find another package or another card. All from wonderful people who are helping me get through this.

If you are one of those people that have taken time out for me to pray, to donate, to create and send a card, to write an e-mail, to think about Joey, PLEASE know how much I love and appreciate you.

I hope you realize what a significant help you have been to our family. It isn't what you do, it's that you do it. That you take the time to help me feel better. I have felt your love and strength and I am so grateful to you.

Love to you all!!
Good days and bad days . . .

Believe me. I'm grateful. I have MUCH to be grateful for. Having Joey in our own home and having my two other beautiful children is a huge blessing because after literally months in the hospital it was often days before I would see or talk to my children. I hated being away from any of them. It just doesn't feel right when we are separated. I am also blessed by those who have touched our lives and lifted our spirits during these dark days. I obviously have more blessings than I can count.

But we have bad days too. It might be because my husband and I are tired from staying up with Joey (one of us sleeps in his room every night to care for his needs and administer medicine). Or it might be that Joey battled pain more than usual. Or like today that he lived for that next dose of medicine that helps him sleep. And also today, the idea that he might have developed a tooth infection. Why more things on top of already tough things? It was too much for my husband and I today.

On days like today, we cry. We have our "why" moments, and we pray for added strength. I am working on being more positive and having more faith. I know he is in the Lord's hands, but that doesn't always mean that the Lord will lift our entire burden. I know that He is sustaining us. I feel that, but I am still human and my husband is still human. And sometimes it just hurts so much.

Today was a tough day. Tomorrow is going to be tough too. Tomorrow the nurse comes to change his dressings and he hates that. And tomorrow we have to load him into the van for radiation and he worries about that. And tomorrow my husband goes back to work, and I will miss his strength.

It will be all right. I WILL be all right. I will get through this. I will NOT miss a moment with Joey because I'm feeling sorry for myself. I will be stronger and maybe tomorrow or the tomorrow after that will be a better day.

Some days are good days too!


Joey's Wish!

When Make-A-Wish first approached us, we didn't feel that it was appropriate that Joey receive a wish because he was doing so well. We didn't want to take away from another child's wish being granted. But as his illness progressed, we decided to let Joey decide. His answer was completely unselfish, "I don't need anything. I have everything I want." I was so proud of him, but we also allowed him some time to really consider if there was anything else that he wanted.

His wish was a suit of Clone Trooper armor that he could wear. Because he was so sick, talking to the Make-A-Wish people took some time. Finally, we had them come up to the hospital because Joey was actually coherent for a few hours at a time. He tried to explain to them the colors and style that he wanted.

The grantors decided to grant his wish on his birthday, April 14. They wanted to have a huge party and invite the entire Alpine Garrison, which is about 50+ members that dress in various Star Wars costumes. We asked them to please cut it down to a much smaller size as Joey is very upset around large groups of people. We also invited the grantors, Joey's grandparents, and one uncle (who is also a HUGE Star Wars fan).

Joey was very ill on the afternoon of his birthday and didn't seem at all excited about coming out. I am sure that was due to how very sick he was. We walked him slowly into the living room and had him rest on the couch.

Then Darth Vadar and two Clone Troopers presented him with a full suit of armor and several other Clone Trooper/Star Wars toys. The really tall red Trooper is his armor. :)



Joey tried very hard to be interested, but he was so nauseated that he begged to go back to his room after about 15 minutes. Before he moved back to his own bed, he said, "Thanks, guys!" It was very overwhelming to him, and I wish that we had been able to grant the wish when he was feeling much better. He just hasn't been the same this last month and a half. Things that would have absolutely thrilled him are not as fun to him. He did ask to see things later and would have his Dad hold them so he could really look at them. (He isn't strong enough to hold things anymore).

What was most fun to me was the reaction of my two younger kids and my brother. That's the reaction Joey would have when he was feeling better. I don't think they could have been more excited! They were literally shaking with excitement. The Make-A-Wish grantors also brought two baskets with toys for my younger children so they wouldn't feel left out. They were extremely generous, and I think Santa is going to take a break this year. Really, WOW!!

I am so grateful for the people that grant wishes to sick children. I remember one night, Joey spent 15 minutes drawing exactly what he wanted for his Clone Trooper despite a fever and nausea. Only a wish like that could make him want to draw again, and that's something he always loved to do.

What an amazing organization! Here's a last photo of my youngest thoroughly enjoying our visitors. :)


I am astounded!

I hardly know what to say as I sit here typing this. I'm not even sure this is the proper place to do it, but I need to say thank you.

I have always been a very private person. I don't like to ask for help. I like to do things myself. I don't cry in public, and I don't like discussing my most private life with anyone. But then Joey got cancer, and just holding it all in was so painful and so exhausting. And I needed help. I needed to talk. I needed to ask questions. I needed to reach out. And I found myself sharing a bit of our experience with people on some of my favorite message boards. Perhaps that seems strange that I would reach out in such a public way, but I have always felt safe there, loved, and supported. It seemed only natural to share my experience with my online family.

The response has been overwhelming, and I mean that in the most positive, loving, beautiful way possible. People have called me, have brought in meals, have brought special things to help Joey have something to look forward to. They have watched my two youngest as I spent weeks in the hospital with Joey after all his surgeries and all his chemotherapy. People e-mailed me and sent their love, offered their help, and made me feel better.

How do you thank such a mighty group? Most of these people have never met me or even talked to me. What would motivate them to be so very good to me and my little family? You know what I've realized? We are good people. We truly love our fellow man, and when someone is suffering we want to reach out and help.

I just never thought I would be on the receiving end. It's hard for me. I would definitely rather be on the serving end. But when something this big and this catastrophic happens to a family, you need help. And I have certainly needed help.

And you have helped. You made sure that I had more than cafeteria food to eat (and yes, I have put on a few pounds from all those wonderful meals and treats). You sent the most beautiful cards that made me cry and made me laugh. You sent me darling little gifts that lifted my spirit (who doesn't love a package in the mail).

I am not capable of writing words worthy of thanking you. I wish that I were. I wish that I could fill you with joy the way you have for me. It can be so dark sometimes, and you continue to give me light.

May you each be blessed in the individual way that you need for your generosity. I love you all. You are my kindred spirits and my new friends. Thank you so much!
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