Dreams, Faith, and Hope . . .
I dreamed about Joey last night. He woke up and was well again. Lovely dream and so happy that I can still dream about him. Doesn't matter that it wasn't true. I just wanted to remember him that way. Made me so happy. :)
Dreams coming true. That's a topic I think about all the time.
On the long drive to California, my husband asked me what I wanted in my life. There are some things that I always list: finishing my degree, going on a mission for our church, traveling. Those have always been my long-term goals.
Then there are the practical goals: finishing the landscaping, getting out of debt, food storage and 72-hour kit completion. Those are the boring but necessary goals.
Then there are the dreams that came true along the way for me:
* Learning to appreciate motherhood
* Falling in love with my husband over and over again
* Living in another state and meeting wonderful people
And the career dreams:
* Working with wonderful companies
* Getting published
* Meeting other designers
* Traveling
I also have a very "fantasy" based dream:
Would you believe that I've always wanted to fly? I don't mean getting on a plane. My friends and family will tell you that I'm not a fan. I mean Superman flying. I dream about that all the time at night.
I wonder why we have dreams. Do you think it's because we are naturally born to have hope, to wonder, to dream? I think so. I think it gets harder as we grow older and face tough realities. But even in the face of Joey's illness, we still had hope. I believe that hope and faith are entertwined so that when I say "I believe . . ." I have hope that it will happen and that with hard work, I can make it happen.
When Joey wasn't cured and wasn't able to stay with us here on earth, it was so hard to have hope; and I struggled to understand what I should have had faith in: "faith that he would be cured," "faith in a miracle," I wasn't sure. Now I realize that having faith was exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to have.
As we said good-bye and as we mourn his passing, my hope has changed; but not my faith. Instead of hoping that Joey will be well, I know that Joey is well now. Instead of hoping that Joey could have remained with us, I know that Joey is with a parent far more loving than I. I still believe and have faith that Joey could have been cured and could have stayed with us, but I believe that was not the Lord's plan for Joey.
Dreams, beliefs, and faith are completely entertwined. I am so grateful for hope!